I think one of the most important things one must realize and master before they turn 30 is the ability to control oneself. To take over your own feelings. It’s always been like this, remember in One Tree Hill, Peyton used to say, “People always leave”, they do. In the movie, “Before Midnight” Natalia said, “Like sunlight, sunset, we appear, we disappear. We are so important to some, but we are just passing through.” Is it sad? Yes. But you got to pick yourself up eventually and keep walking.

Life doesn’t have to be exhausting, if it is then something isn’t right.

I got another tattoo yesterday. A jellyfish. Why get it now? I’ve been wanting to get it for quite some time now and it felt it is the right time to get it. Why a jellyfish? Because of a lot of things. One of which is it symbolizes immortality somehow. Also because I’ve been cruising and just floating around for a while and feel that I am in need of a drastic change. And also because of this quote from Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle,

“Why do you like jellyfish so much?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I think they’re cute,” she said. “But one thing did occur to me when I was really focused on them. What we see before us is just one tiny part of the world. We get into the habit of thinking, This is the world, but that’s not true at all. The real world is in a much darker and deeper place than this, and most of it is occupied by jellyfish and things. We just happen to forget all that. Don’t you agree? Two thirds of the earth’s surface is ocean, and all we can see of it with the naked eye is the surface: the skin. We hardly know anything about what’s beneath the skin.”

I’m currently planning my travel plans for next year and I’m quite happy with my choices. But while doing it, I kept on changing between planning for two and one. Then it hit me. I’m doing a very big mistake, again. I don’t even know who I’m going with, who am I kidding, I know, but why should I do it? I am happy alone and would really like to travel by myself. But no one wants to be alone all the time.