I have been thinking about this question for years (since I was a kid actually) and I still do not have the answer to it. I don’t think I will be able to answer it definitively, just like I will probably never be able to visit all the 7,000+ islands that make up the Philippine archipelago. However, this is an attempt.

Last Thursday night, while thinking of what to write this week for my weekly newsletter with a friend, discussing “lightness”  over ciders, the subject of going to the Philippines for a holiday became the topic, again. I think I made him long to return to the Philippines because of my letter last week. “What do you say, we head to Terminal 3 now instead of home and fly to Panglao Island?”, he said. “Tempting,” is all I can mutter as the only thing that was stopping me then was my body and bank account. I recently changed jobs and not only am I not allowed to take any holidays, but I’m also sort of broke.

I watched Anthony Bourdain’s latest Parts Unknown episode that day, it was his Manila trip. I laughed as he ate his halo-halo and ordered at Jollibee like a pro. At the beginning of the episode, he said, “Filipinos are, for reasons I have yet to figure out, probably the most giving of all people on the planet.“

Our Top Export

People are considered one of the top exports of the Philippines. Overseas Filipino workers’ remittances as a percentage of gross domestic product (GDP) is at 10 percent. There are probably millions of children raised by Filipino nannies. The youngest child of the VP at my previous job is fluent in Tagalog and can sing “Tagalog Children Songs”. He is Emirati, and he knows more songs than me.

Most overseas Filipino workers work as caregivers; from doctors, and nurses to babysitters. All of them, including the skilled workers, leave behind families in the Philippines to take care of someone else. It’s a cycle of caring. And most of the time it is caring too damn much.

You cannot say something “wrong” or “offensive” about the Philippines or anything related to it, especially on the internet and expect no one to defend the country. This is never taken lightly. You can easily join Claire Danes in our persona non grata list.

Growing up we are always reminded by elders to live our lives according to the following proverbs (among others, the list is long):

Proverbs

Ang bayaning nasusugatan, nagiibayo ang tapang. (A patriot who is wounded becomes more courageous.) Which I believe explains the result of the recent Presidential elections, along with patriarchy and disgust from political clans and oligarchy.

Huli man daw at magaling, naihahabol din. (It is never too late to offer anything good.) Most often followed to the extreme, “Offer everything, even if you’re left with nothing.”

Kapag apaw na ang takalan, kailangan kalusan. (When the pot runs over, you need to spill some.) You will not go to heaven if you waste. Everything in excess is bad and must be shared with those in need.

Walang ligaya sa lupa na hindi dinilig ng luha. (There is no earthly bliss not watered by tears.) Well apparently, the only way to be happy is to cry first.

A person who does not remember where he/she came from will never reach his/her destination. Be grateful. Show you’re grateful by providing for your family’s needs and wants.

He who gives alms to the poor faces heaven. Need I say more?

Most of these salawikain (proverb) has been followed religiously since colonial times. Most likely developed by our “sweet and kind” colonizers, “Be one of us, quit being an Indio, go to heaven by paying your alms.” I sometimes believe it’s just the elders’ way of punishing the next generations, ensuring the younger ones endure and learn the same way they did. According to them, “Experience in the best teacher” after all.

Crime and violence are not uncommon back home. However, almost everyone will be willing to give you a helping hand when you need it and with a smile.

Why so serious?

I think Filipinos are caring because we don’t take things too seriously. We love giving the impression that everything is okay and will be fine. We don’t mind suffering so that our loved ones don’t. And we are very forgiving, or maybe just forgetful. We care so much that it doesn’t matter if we were wronged or hurt before.

We go through calamities, we experience hardships, therefore, we know how to be in need which makes us reach out to those who are helpless easily. Also, everyone wants to be a hero. Even our history will tell you that. We were colonized by the Spaniards and the Americans, Spain handed over the Philippines to the U.S. for US$20,000,000.00 along with Guam and Puerto Rico, as if it was theirs to give away in the first place. Yet today, we look at them as if we owed our lives to them.

When the country was occupied by the Japanese during WWII, women were made to be “Comfort Women”, Japanese soldiers took our women forcibly and raped them every night. Throughout our history, we have taken care of the needs of others first often until it’s way too unbearable anymore.

I love caring. And for most Filipinos and me, it’s probably the only way we know how to live.